Sex/Wear
February 7, 2010 1:14 PM
Clothes and sex have always been partners in crime; from Marilyn’s iconic dress in “Seven Year Itch,” to Dita Von Teese’s throw-back style, fashion has been used for centuries as a means of expressing sexuality.
The fascination in style arises in part from the way clothing can be manipulated to extremes; demure, fashionable, avant-garde and straight up sexy.
Whether you want to explore the sartorialistic or the sensual side of your wardrobe, there are plenty of possibilities. This week’s “That’s What She Said” and “Fashism” columns are intertwined in an attempt to explore this common ground.
Stilettos
Jean: Gawking at shoes is a perfectly acceptable substitute for sex; women everywhere will stand by that assertion. Besides making you feel sexy and powerful, stilettos have a sky-high skeleton in the closet.
What’s the first thing you think of when you hear “stiletto?” Louboutin, patent leather and that wonderful clickity clack? For one segment of the population, stiletto equals phallic symbol. Besides straight up shoe fetishes, partners may suck on the heels of the stiletto, or use them as sex toys.
Even BDSM has jumped on the bandwagon, using the ultimate stiletto: the pointe boot. Built like a ballerina’s shoe it forces all the wearers’ weight onto the toes, supported by a 7 inch heel. Sex and shoes are without a doubt a perfect mix of form and function; no matter what gets you off.
Tara: Potentially the most intimidating of all footwear, with a little practice and bravado, these shoes will become your best friend.
To ease a bit of the pain that comes with wearing these, look for a pair with a platform under the toe. This way, it’ll feel like your heel is only three inches from the ground when it’s actually four. To dress stilettos down, wear them with skinny jeans and a pretty blouse.
For a night out, wear them with a fitted dress with a knee-length hem for a look that’s sexy but still classy. Nothing will ever make your legs or butt look better.
Bustiers
Jean: Sometimes it is almost too easy: bustiers, bust, breasts. If anything, fashion has co-opted the bustier from the lingerie department and claimed it for its own.
Tame versions are available at your local lingerie store, and they’re often comfortable and fun to wear; not something that can be said about all lingerie.
The leather versions are also plentiful with straps, buckles, and hell; some skip the whole covering the chest bit and consist only of straps. If the groupspeak of the Wikipedia citation are to be believed, bustiers are also at times used as tools in mild erotic asphyxiation.
Tara: Bustiers, or corsets, are my favourite of the lingerie trend. They flatter and enhance every shape, and coincide perfectly with the equally popular high-waisted and tucked-in trends.
Since most bustiers are strapless, be sure to choose one that fits you well; you don’t want to give everyone a nice surprise in the form of a shot of your nipples when you forget to periodically yank your top up.
Lace
Jean: Oh Madonna, how we love your sexy self. Madonna was donning lace and singing “like a virgin” before many of us were conceived, yet her fashion contributions have lived on in the bedrooms of the nation since then.
The sexual appeal of lace comes in many ways from its dual identities as representative of virginity and innocence – think bridal wear – and the fact that it is see-through. Like many sexual fixations, interplay between good and bad makes things all the more exciting.
Tara: Nothing will make you feel as pretty or dainty as lace. This textile has been a favourite for royalty for over 500 years, and it continues to withstand the test of time.
However, lace has evolved from collars to loose fitting overlays and peek-a-boo hemlines. Cream coloured dresses with a layer of lace overtop are perfect for everything from garden parties to evening soirees, especially when you want to look like a million bucks. Lace is one of the things that make it fun to be a woman, so embrace it.
Fishnets Jean: Type “fishnet stockings” into Google images with the safe search set to moderate and you get boobs. Nipples are elusive when you type “sex” into the same search, or “boobs” for that matter. There is no doubt in my mind (or Google’s programming) that fishnets are as close to elasticized coitus as the world will ever get.
Tara: Named after exactly what they look like, fishnets add an eye-catching punch to any outfit. These are easiest to wear in full-tight form, but if you’re going to go with the thigh-high version, invest in a garter belt.
As with bustiers, you don’t want to be tugging them up all day. If you’re not prepared to wear fishnets on their own, or it’s too cold, try wearing coloured tights underneath them.
Leather
Jean: Leather rides the fence between sexy fashion and fashionably sexy better than any other garment. Leather jackets paired with street clothes suggest yet another sweet and kinky twist that we seem to find so appealing.
Taken to its extreme are leather and PVC fetishists who for all intents and purposes swath themselves entirely in their material of choice. Whether subtle or bold beyond words, leather is sexy.
Tara: A good leather jacket is hard to find, so if you’re looking to add some leather to your wardrobe, don’t limit yourself. Leather dresses, skirts and leggings are just as bad-ass as their jacket counterpart.
The key to wearing leather is to balance it with softer, more feminine pieces, like flowy blouses and patterned tights. Avoid wearing leather head to toe, unless your boyfriend drives a Harley, or your name is Sandy.
Plaid Skirts
Jean: Uniform fetishes – most notably schoolgirl – are one of the most common clothing fetishes in the western world, although Japan participates pretty heavily in that market too. Lighter role play also often focuses on the schoolgirl and her stereotypical plaid skirt.
Sexual appeal may come from the appeal of innocence, and power.
How classic is the naughty student/disciplinary principle theme? That alone should give an indication of the popularity of this fantasy. I
t is important to note, as with most role play, uniform fetishes are just that: a sexual exploration of themes. They do not reflect sexual attraction to actual schoolgirls in most cases.
Tara: Look around any room and you’re bound to see at least ten people wearing plaid. The best way to put a feminine spin on this trend while avoiding flannel is to go with a plaid skirt.
Either pleated, a la school uniform, or more fitted, plaid skirts are great for adding colour to a monochrome outfit.
A basic rule for what to wear with plaid is to pick a secondary colour that runs through the pattern and go from there. If there is a thin blue stripe through a mostly grey plaid skirt, wearing a blue top will bring out that stripe.
Menswear Jean: The sexuality of androgyny, or at least temporary and acted androgyny, is an interesting phenomenon.
The inversion of gender norms and standards of power are exciting and unexpected for many. Concepts of control, and being in control during sex, to the point of domination and submission at times, are not new concepts in sex.
They are also increasingly being explored by curious populations outside of hardcore BDSM practitioners. For those thinking of bucking the power norms and experimenting with the sexuality of control, this is an easy entry point into this very wide reaching sexual realm.
Tara: Anything they can do, we can do better, including blazers, button down shirts and boyfriend jeans.
There is nothing more empowering than throwing on pieces you found in your brother’s closet and looking fabulous.
However, always remember that you don’t want to look like you’re cross dressing (unless you do), so be sure to offset menswear-inspired pieces with pretty dresses, fitted skirts and heels.
