The F- Word and its detractors
March 25, 2010 9:00 AM
“Being” a feminist is something we rhyme off without thinking, but this statement deserves a bit more analysis. “Being” implies one’s essential nature or characters, and feminism truly is a deeply rooted ideology for many, something they cannot separate from everyday life.
Feminism is not superficial and yet we often treat it as something that can be “read” off certain ‘radical’ individuals, who conform blindly to a feminist manifesto.
At the beginning of the year I had a rather memorable conversation with a guy at the Inn. During the generic chit chat he asked me what program I was in and proceeded to take a large step away from me when I told him I was doing part of my degree in women’s studies.
Very few other programs incite such a reaction from others; almost as if daring to speak the word “feminist” violently unleashes the inner Jezebel from within.
Sadly, many people deny being feminists because they don’t want to be associated with the word. There are those women and men who agree with the principles of feminism - things like equality, the sexual, economic and political autonomy of women, and LGBTQ rights - but refuse to identify with the movement because they’re still hung up on the fallacy that feminists are penis-hating whores, demanding the end of chivalry. As one friend put it “you really just need to get a new word.”
But being a feminist isn’t signing away your identity in blood and joining ranks of man-hating, unshaven, bitchy butches with chips on their shoulders.
There is no one feminism, there are many feminisms; and while there are many feminists I disagree with vehemently, there are an equal number who would return the favour.
To boil feminism down to a stereotype takes away from the fact that most people you know are feminists, even if they are scared of the word itself.
Who better to illustrate this conundrum of misunderstanding then Lady Gaga? Confession time: I have a crazy lady-crush on Gaga. I envy both her very real talent and how much fun it looks like she’s having being an absolute nutcase.
Beyond rarely donning pants, Lady Gaga has been providing material for feminists since she hit the scene. Because of her depictions of sex, violence, and disability in Paparazzi, her girl-on-girl kiss in the Telephone video, and her admission of being bisexual, fitting Gaga into a feminist discourse has proven to be a contentious issue.
She comes out with such sound-bites as “I feel intrinsically inclined toward a more gay lifestyle,” and “I very much want to inject gay culture into the mainstream. It’s not an underground tool for me. It’s my whole life. So I always sort of joke the real motivation is to just turn the world gay.” Then she says, “I’m not a feminist - I, I hail men, I love men. I celebrate American male culture, and beer, and bars and muscle cars...”
Say it with me: Huh? I am most certainly a feminist, and I have a particular fondness for men, bars, and most especially beer.
This whole scenario leaves me wanting to hit my head on my desk for an extra half hour. Maybe this will help me comprehend why we are still wasting time fighting stupid stereotypes about feminism.
Needing to assure people that feminists don’t hate men has become the thorn in our collective side.
It’s taking away from time that could be spent on other issues, such as how American male culture conceptualizes sex in a way that lessens sexual gratification for all genders. Or, its fostering of a rape culture.
That seems like something Lady Gaga wouldn’t get behind. After all, it’s not disallowing a love of muscle cars. She, like many “I’m not a feminist”-ers, seems to be having problems separating men from patriacrchy and damaging culturally constructed notions of masculinity. That’s no excuse to deny being a feminist.
The fear surrounding the word itself confuses me. Yes, of course there is considerable history and social context imbued in the word itself, but that same context doesn’t stop many of us calling ourselves liberals, conservatives or any other political affiliation.
To change the word “feminist” would be to deny the history that brought us to our current forms of feminism, both the ideological faults and victories of the women and men who preceded us in the battle for equality.
Of course, we have come a long way in reaching equality in some regards, and women owe much of that to feminists over years of struggle and activism. We also have much farther to go, and to dismiss feminism is to dismiss these challenges.
To deny the importance of the word itself is to buy into the notion that equality exists. Detractors say being a feminist is antiquated because clearly our demands have been met. They have not.
When one denies their status as a feminist but agrees to all that feminists stand for, they are flying in the face of feminism as a movement and denying its importance.
To dismiss feminism on the basis of supposed equality is to deny the ever present wage gap, the underrepresentation of women in politics, and their overrepresentation in poverty and as those affected by violence.
Feminism is still relevant because there are still idiots yelling homophobic slurs out of bus windows, and people who still don’t understand why such language is homophobic.
Call her whatever you will, but Emma Goldman knew what she was talking about when she said “I demand the independence of woman, her right to support herself; to live for herself; to love whomever she pleases, or as many as she pleases. I demand freedom for both sexes, freedom of action, freedom in love and freedom in motherhood.”
Feminists are still fighting for these rights, over 100 years since Goldman made her demands, and that is why we are still relevant. And that’s why I am a feminist.
