Half-hearted support of gay rights not good enough
October 12, 2025 2:26 PM
Rant of the week
The story of Tyler Clementi, like other suicide reports, has sent forth international shockwaves.
The 18-year-old student discovered that his roommate had videotaped footage of he and a male partner during sexual acts, which he thought were in private, but were later posted on the internet. Clementi committed suicide shortly thereafter.
Clementi’s story induced a media firestorm. Readers and bloggers alike couldn’t believe that he was treated with such disrespect; the actions of his roommate imply that it’s ok to treat homosexuality like some kind of spectacle that “normal” people can leer at.
In a time when so many young people advocate for gay rights and so much is changing, how can this thinking still be prevalent?
I always liked to think that my generation is up to the task of eradicating discrimination, harassment, and stereotyping based on sexual orientation. Advocacy groups and supportive communities are gaining ground, and popular opinion on these issues is leaning more and more towards the supportive.
But the problem with our vendetta against homophobia and discrimination is that it only seems to last so long as someone important is watching. I have often seen the nuances of gay rights and its vernacular discussed in various forums; later on I hear someone make a hurtful joke or rude comment. But I mostly shrug it off, saying to myself “that person is so ignorant.”
How many times can we hear hurtful remarks and mentally tell the speaker off, saying nothing aloud? How many times can we witness homosexual men and women (or anyone who fits our stereotype of these groups) mercilessly poked fun at and typified into a narrow tunnel of judgement. At what point is it necessary to get mean and to actually tell people off?
Are you an advocate of gay rights? And if so would you tell an authority figure that their remark is not ok by you? Would you tell an elderly family member that discriminatory thinking is a thing of the past?
Quite simply put, as an advocate of gay rights, do you stand up for these rights when the need arises or simply when it becomes convenient for you?
Support is not a passive verb. It means to uphold or to defend. But somewhere along the line, support in the context of gay rights came to be a very passive thing; we believe in it, but we don’t act on it unless we see a very extreme case.
To count ourselves as real supporters, we have to take equality thinking outside of our thoughts. We have to stop being shocked at the suicide stories when those around us who fit any sort of gay archetype are being targeted.
If we don’t shut down every instance of homophobia and harassment we see, then what we would call support, others would call apathy. Supporting gay rights means addressing every case that we encounter, whether it comes from a sister, a grandparent, or a boss. When it’s easy, and equally when it’s difficult.
I tell myself that I’ll do better next time. There’s no need to go on a rampage, but a calm “I’m not ok with that” will suffice.
If someone had done this for Clementi’s roommate, things may have turned out very differently.